SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS! SHOTS!

Holy shit gang,

                What a wild week it has been! I thought for sure I was going to find the time to get another post up last week, but life came and kicked me square in the junk. Work was hellacious and busy all week and then Ewok got some sort of stomach bug on Friday. She threw up a grand total of 10 times I believe and was just an all around crab ass all weekend. When she wasn’t being crabby she was sleeping which was kind of a plus I guess. Both my wife and I ended up getting sick as well though, we didn’t get the stomach part of it (thank God!), but both of use felt like total piles all weekend. Yet again, I must say that my wife is a freaking saint! Elizabeth was obviously sick and I had such a bad headache that I couldn’t move without my head feeling like it was going to explode (not to mention that out of 72 hours I slept for about 68 of them) so even though she wasn’t feeling well at all either, she was the caretaker by default. I may be implying that she wasn’t “that sick”, which is accurate to a point I guess. She felt better than Elizabeth or I did, but she still had a sinus headache that would have made Andre the Giant say “uncle” so I assume her Sainthood paperwork is in the mail from the Vatican. At least everyone is feeling good now.

                Anyways, I realized I forgot a pretty major update in my last post. Elizabeth has started on non-boob foods! So far we have only done mashed up squash and avocados, but she seems to really dig them both. We haven’t really given them to legitimately feed her, more just to get her used to the idea. She loves to grab chunks and play with it on her little tray and then suck off whatever is left on her fingers. She is SUPER curious now about any food that my wife or I have now. Uncle Ginger and Aunt Doc came over the other night and Ginger had a new whiskey for me to try. I was sampling it in a low-ball glass and the little gomer kept trying to take it from me! She also wants a French fry so bad that I can almost taste it (no pun intended…ok it was intended, but give me a break).  She is just so curious about everything now. She is constantly on the lookout for something to get in to. She is very responsive to any stimuli and seems very engaged with her surroundings. Obviously…she is a genius.

                Today we had our 6 month check-up. I know, I know, 6 months already! I don’t know where this time keeps going. Doctor said everything was looking really good and that she seems to be on track for everything. He did ask if she was starting to say “mama” or “dada” yet, and we told him that she is making those sounds, but hasn’t assigned them to either of us, she just makes those sounds while jibber jabbering. I was surprised, because he said that it still counts which seems odd. So far the smart money at our house is on her saying “Daddy” first as she will continuously say “dadadadadadadadada” all freaking day long. I know nobody will believe this, but I have actively tried to get her to say Mama first. I figured it is quite literally the least I can do considering that my wife carried her for 9 months, delivered her, only to have her come out looking and acting like me. Didn’t seem fair for her first word to be daddy too.  Anyways, she also had 4 shots today. She really took them like a champ. She cried of course, but it didn’t last long at all. Within 10 minutes we had her smiling and giggling. She is one tough little lady, just like her Mommy.

                I do have yet another humorous fat-dad fail to share. I had an office day yesterday, but since I was still feeling like twice microwaved shit I left work early and decided to pick up Elizabeth from daycare to get some extra snuggle time in. We came home and she demolished 4.5 ounces of boob juice and promptly passed out. She woke up about 45 minutes later in an especially good mood so we started to play. The new game that we play that she loves is “Jump”. I stand her up in my lap, hold on to her waist, bounce her a little, say “jump, jump, jump” and then raise her up above my head. She giggles and we have a good time. Well…this time when I raised her above my head she decided to spit up directly in my mouth! Before I continue this story, I feel I need to point out that it had been a full 45 minutes since she ate, she was in a good mood, and she wasn’t sick anymore. I thought I was in the safe zone. Nope. Anyways, I’m not sure if you have ever had a baby spit up directly in your mouth before, but it isn’t fun…especially when you yourself are not feeling good. I’ve never tasted my wife’s breast milk before, so I’m not sure if what was spit into my mouth was “good” or “bad”, but it was warm and fucking disgusting, so I quickly yet calmly laid her down on the floor and proceeded to projectile vomit in the toilet. Again…I wanted a freaking dog!

                Oh the joys of parenthood eh? As always, thank you for reading. Check out Fatterhood on Facebook for cute pictures of my Ewok and some random musings. And check back soon for another blog post. Thanks again, PROST!