Howdy gang,
Man how
the time flies yet again. I shan’t lie, I am almost a full pint of Bully Boy
vodka down (more on why in a little while) and I am ready to do some
fat-dadding!
It has been a rather
eventful week since my last post. Last Saturday we went to a Halloween party that
our friends were hosting. We ended up almost having a pretty good 1st
time parenting fail when we realized that we never asked if it was ok if we
brought Elizabeth with us. The thought had never even crossed our minds until
someone asked who we found to babysit. The very thought that a group of
twenty-thirty something-year-olds wouldn’t enjoy the presence of our darling
child never occurred to us. We lucked out as everyone seemed really excited
when I asked via the Facebook group if she could attend. Halloween is easily my
favorite holiday; candy, horror movies, dressing up, etc. My wife on the other
hand is apparently indifferent towards it, so we ended up with what I still
consider a ludicrous family costume budget. To fit in her damn guidelines
(seriously, $300 is “too expensive” for a Ghostbusters themed family costume?
WTF?!) we opted to be Popeye, Olive Oil, and Sweet Pea for a grand total of
about $20. We looked cute and we had a blast at the part. I will post a picture
of the 3 of us on the Fatterhood Facebook page soon by the way. Elizabeth was
well behaved, but stayed out way past her bed time so she ended up being kind
of a crank for most of the weekend.
I was deadest
on taking Elizabeth trick-or-treating on Halloween. I went so far as to take
off work just so I could guarantee that I would actually be home to do so. I
found myself in kind of an awkward spot though. You see, you can’t really go
door to door with a small child asking for candy when you look like me. Even on
a good day I have a tendency to look semi-homeless, but currently with my
shaved head I knew it would look like I had kidnapped Elizabeth. I was severely
self-conscious about the whole thing. I put out a Facebook message looking to
tagalong with any of my friends or family that have kids to bring down my
creeper factor and my cousin offered to let me join in. She and her husband
recently joined the parenting cabal as well and they wanted to take out their
little one too. She was freakin’ adorable by the way, she was born a wee bit
early so she is still very tiny, but dressed up like Stitch from Lilo and Stitch she was just too cute to
handle. We made the circle around my Aunt’s house which is kind of a swanky neighborhood,
the kind that hands out full sized candy bars. Elizabeth ended up falling
asleep on my shoulder about 3 houses down from my Aunt’s house. Not sure if
going with my cousin helped the perception at all, but it did make me feel
better.
After trick-or-treating
Elizabeth and I (my wife had to work by the way) stopped by my wife’s parents’
house. Grandma was still at work, but Papa wanted to see his little
granddaughter. He took it upon himself to introduce Elizabeth to her first
piece of candy since it was Halloween and all kids “need” candy. I figured my
wife would go ape shit, so we kind of compromised and he found some sugar free
suckers to let her gum on. She loved it…of course. There is a great picture of
it up on the Fatterhood Facebook page. We made our way home and my little Ewok
was totally tuckered out.
The
Wednesday night after Halloween Elizabeth just wasn’t herself. She seemed tired
and cranky. Daycare had said that she seemed “off” as well, but that she had
been over-all pretty good all day. We were sitting around having our family
time and I was packing my overnight bag since I was supposed to be out for work
Thursday night when all of a sudden she had a pretty intense coughing attack
and started puking. And I mean REALLY puking. This was beyond spit up. I said
that she looked like she was auditioning for The Exorcist and told my wife to
hide any crucifixes that were in the house. She did that a few more times yet
Wednesday evening. After looking at our calendars, we decided that I should
call in since my wife had a very important review due at work and since she had
called in the last time Ewok was sick it was kind of my turn. I stayed up all
night with her since she seemed to cough less when one of us was holding her
for some reason. We kept her out of daycare of course, and the two of us just
kind of chilled on my recliner most of the day. She seemed to be feeling quite
a bit better by Thursday afternoon, but was still coughing and was still
throwing up occasionally. We called the Doctor and he said that there really
wasn’t much to worry about unless she had a fever (which she didn’t) or unless
she was showing signs of dehydration. By the time my wife arrived home Thursday
it seemed like we were out of the woods, but then the puke started up again.
I had
called in for Friday as well, so I pulled another all nighter and stayed up
with Ewok again. To be totally fair to my wife, I am a night owl by nature and
I could have tried to sleep but I am a notoriously hard sleeper and I was
terrified that I wouldn’t hear her cough and that she would aspirate her vomit
in the night. My wife woke up Friday morning and found that she too was super
sick. I won’t go in to details as she wouldn’t be very happy if I did, but let’s
just say that I found myself on Ewok duty and Mama duty for all of Friday.
Which brings me to the pint of vodka. My wife still feels like shit and went to
bed at around 830. Elizabeth seems to be doing MUCH better since this
afternoon, she has been playing and laughing most of the day and the cough has
become less intense. I moved her pack-n’-play out to the living room so that I
can watch her and let my wife get some much needed rest. This has left me
though with a combined total of about 8-12 hours of sleep out of the last 60
and I have burned through my Netflix queue. I made the decision to start mixing
vodka with Kickstarts (no lecture needed, again, we have already established
that I don’t make great health decisions) and having a movie marathon. I made
my way through the Saw movies and am
currently plugging through the Underworld
movies. Ewok is sound asleep right next to me and oddly enough…I don’t think
there is any other place I would rather be.
We were
supposed to go to a wedding in Madison on Saturday, but seeing as how I am the
only “healthy” one in this house and I haven’t really slept since Wednesday I
don’t think we will be making it. I will see what happens tomorrow, but my hope
is that my wife will be feeling better so that I can catch up on some sleep and
then write another post tomorrow. If not, then I will perhaps be in some sort
of coma-like hibernation for the weekend. Either way…I thank you for reading.
As always, check back soon and don’t forget to like Fatterhood on
Facebook. I really don’t know how to
thank you all for sticking with me so far. 6000 views in 20 countries and still
growing. I know there are more popular blogs out there, but I would never have
dreamed in a million years that mine would be even mildly successful. I really
do thank you! Prost!
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