Howdy gang,
Da Butt
is feeling all better now. She is tip-top and solid trouble again as usual. Last
week she also started rolling. She surprised the hell out of my wife. My wife
set her on the couch while she did a few little jobs in the kitchen and when she
came back to just to check on her she had flipped to her stomach. So she is officially
mobile now. Doesn't that just suck? Gone are the glory days of leaving her
somewhere and knowing that she would be right there when you returned. This has
also lead to some interesting nights now at our house. Once the little ones
start to turn like that, you’re not supposed to swaddle up their arms any more
to reduce the chance of SIDS. Now that she has her arms free at night for the
first time, she tends to whack herself in the melon. It reminds me of trying to
put an octopus to bed. Just limbs flapping around and chaos. So, gone also are
the sleeping all the way through the night glory days for us. It is a real
drag. But we had it pretty easy up to this point, so I guess I can’t really
complain either.
I have
been thinking a lot about the future yet again. My wife and I grew up with 2
very different parenting styles. Not saying one was better than the other, just
that they were very different. I have a feeling that this will lead to some
pretty good arguments once Elizabeth gets older. My wife grew up in a more
traditional household, if that still exists. She had a mother and father in the
home, with 1 older brother and 1 older (much much much older…lol) sister. They
really are as close to a Norman Rockwell painting as you can get nowadays. I
grew up in a “non-traditional” home. As I have written about before, I grew up
as an only child to a single mother. My grandparents lived close by and I spent
a lot of time there. We ended up having two very different relationships with
our parents. For my wife, her parents were kind of judge, jury and executioner.
If one made a rule, the other backed it, even if they didn’t really agree with
it. More on that in a second. But in my house, I was brought in on decision making
for the household. I was left to make some bad calls and then suffer the consequences.
I like to explain that I was as close to a Latch-Key Kid as one can be while
not suffering any child abuse.
An
example of the parenting my wife received is that when she was in college in
Milwaukee, whenever she came home she would still have curfew. She was in her
early 20’s, living alone, going to school, working full time, and we were
engaged, but when she came home for the weekend…she couldn’t stay at my
apartment. This was more her Mom’s rule and her Dad had to back the play. As
much as I hated it at the time, I totally understand it now. Her Dad and I have
always had a pretty solid relationship built on the concept that we know that
we are different, but as long as I make his baby daughter happy…then he won’t
shoot me. Pretty simple. Her mother, on the other hand, was convinced that I
was only out to get in her daughter’s pants so the rule was set in place. I am
pretty sure that her Dad couldn’t have given less of a shit if she stayed at my
apartment, but he HAD to back the rule that was set by his wife.
Now a
great example of the parenting that I received was my very first high school
party. I didn’t lie to my Ma. I told her I was going to a party and that it
would more than likely go pretty late, since school was out, I didn’t have a
curfew. She told me to have fun and call if I needed anything. Now I said I
didn’t lie to my Ma…but I didn’t technically tell her everything either. I was
pretty confident that the party was going to have drinking there…but I wasn’t
100% sure, so I just didn’t mention it. I got to the party, had my few drinks,
and ended up staying the evening since Wisconsin has pretty strict “not a drop”
laws when you still have your restricted driver’s license. Now remember, I said
I would be late…not overnight. I woke up with the sun and made my way back
home. I snuck in to my house and made it to my bedroom only to find one of my
Ma’s best friends sleeping in my bed. I poked her awake and asked what was up.
She informed me that I was supposed to go and wake my Ma up. I woke her up and
asked what was up yet again. That’s when she informed me, “I know you lied to
me you little shit. You went to a drinking party, so I had Linda come over and
we had too much to drink. I know that you weren’t stupid enough to drink and
drive *she shot me that looked that said “if you did…I will kill you”. I hadn’t*
but you still lied. You’re punishment is you have to make us both breakfast
before you can finally go to bed. Bacon and eggs. And don’t ever lie to me
again.”
So I
think you can see why we are already in disagreement on how to handle future
issues. What I have learned from both sets of parents and from my friends with
older children is that there is no rule book or operator’s manual for kids.
What works for one kid, may not work for the next. Ever since we were in caves,
parents have been forced to kind of figure this shit out on the fly. I am not
sure if there is a right way to parent a child, but I am confident that there
are many wrong ways to raise a child. It is a minefield to say the least.
On a
side note I feel that if you aren’t from Wisconsin, you may be raising an
eyebrow at my mother’s cavalier attitude towards underage drinking. If you aren’t
from here it is almost impossible to explain. Drinking is a part of life here.
Even my wife’s parents allowed her small amounts of alcohol when she was young.
It is a rite of passage here, it is part of the culture, and it is engrained in
our day to day lives. It truly isn’t uncommon here to see a 12 year old have a
beer at a wedding. You may have seen the infographic on Facebook where it shows
towns that have more bars than grocery stores and there is clear out line of
Minnesota, Wisconsin and pretty much Iowa and Illinois. My reaction was “why
the hell would you need multiple grocery stores?” so please don’t get too
uppity about that one.
As
always, I thank you for reading. I have a few more posts in the draft stages
and I will be posting them soonish, so keep your eyes peeled. Check out
Fatterhood on Facebook. And of course, prost!
No comments:
Post a Comment