Home Alone!

Howdy gang,

                So my first legit night watching Da Butt all by myself wasn’t the train wreck that I thought it was going to be. It actually went quite well if I may say so myself. We played on the floor, we watched Supernatural, we took a few naps, it really was my idea of a perfect night. We did have 1 minor hiccup in that I thought Ewok was hungry due to her gutted cat scream that she was doing, so I may or may not have force fed her 2 ounces of milk before I accidentally figured out that she was just gassy as all hell. I gave up on the feeding and put her on my shoulder just to walk around when she erupted with such a forceful burp that even I had to be very impressed. She can burp and rip such a good fart that my wife is having trouble telling the difference between our burps and farts. Like I said, she is obviously mine.

                Ewok also started daycare last week. Today is her 4^th day, but from what the ladies at daycare are saying, she is doing very well so far. When my wife drops her off in the morning at about 6am, she is apparently the littlest baby there. This means that she gets a lot of snuggles and gets to be held which means that she is in a good mood before she gets put in her normal room. My wife and I went to pick her up together last Thursday and as soon as we walked in we hear a baby crying. I said, “Pretty sure that one is ours.”. My wife said, “No, don’t think that is her.” The closer we got to the room, the more we were both sure that it was ours. Sure enough, it was Ewok crying. She had managed to wake up all the other babies in the room too, so it was super enjoyable for those poor daycare ladies. I know daycare is ludicrously expensive, but those girls really don’t make enough. Anyways, one of the girls was trying to comfort Elizabeth, I grabbed her while my wife talked with the teachers. Put her up on my shoulder and she let out a long and loud burp. The one teacher said, “I thought maybe she was just gassy.” I tried to explain that yes, she got the wrong set of genes and she needs some extra time to get the burps out when she is feeding. She hates wet diapers and she hates having a tummy full of gas, otherwise she is super happy-go-lucky. They seemed like they would take it under advisement.

                She is becoming more and more like an actual little person by the day. We are figuring out what makes her happy, what doesn't, what the different cries mean, her routine, etc. She has started smiling pretty much all of the time, it is pretty easy to get a giggle out of her (I take quite a bit of pride in that it is far easier for me to get a giggle out of her than for my wife), she actually plays now, she has started reaching for objects. It really is awesome to me. A few weeks ago, she was just a little Mr. Potatohead that pooped herself and cried and now she is like a tiny person. I have been watching a documentary on Netflix and it has me rethinking my original position that she is a sociopathic block of wood. They made the point that kids and babies in particular are the greatest learning machines that nature has ever created. They are constantly learning. They are constantly participating in mini-experiments. As a parent your job is to shape these little scientists in to using their powers for good. Each child born has the potential to be the greatest thing to ever happen to humanity. Of course, they have the same potential to be the worst thing to ever happen to humanity…but no matter how much I mess up as a parent, I highly doubt that I will raise a new generation’s Hitler. Anyways, it is quite a bit to take in and has had me thinking a lot.

                Again, I don’t know how to explain how incredibly lucky we really are when it comes to Elizabeth. We are having some of our friends ask us if we are trying to trick them into having kids with how relatively easy Elizabeth has been. We also managed to get her to sleep for just shy of 10 hours last week! The kid just likes to sleep, eat, play, and smile. We really got it super easy. I have seen some of our friends not have it so easy and I don’t have any helpful advice to give them or anyone else for that matter. If you got a fussy kid, I will be of almost zero help to you. I do feel a little bad though since my poor daughter got my goofy ass proportions, so that might be an issue when she gets older. She ended up with my “fivehead”, my long torso, stubby short legs, and my wide nose. I still think she is gorgeous, but I hope she grows in to all of the proportionally. I guess time will tell on that one.

                As always, thanks for reading gang and don't forget to check our Fatterhood on Facebook. Hope you all had a happy 4^th! Prost!